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That night after the boys had gone to bed Thomas Hudson and Roger Davis sat up in the big room talking. It had been too rough to do much goggle-fishing and after supper the boys had gone off with Joseph to go snapper fishing. They had come back tired and happy and said good night and gone to bed. The men had heard them talking for a while and then they were asleep.
Andrew was afraid of the dark and the other boys knew it but they never teased him about it.
“Why do you think he’s afraid of the dark?” Roger asked.
“I don’t know,” Thomas Hudson said. “Weren’t you?”
“I don’t think so.”
“I was,” Thomas Hudson said. “Is it supposed to mean anything?”
“I don’t know,” Roger said. “I was afraid of dying and that something would happen to my brother.”
“I didn’t know you had a brother. Where is he?”
“Dead,” Roger said.
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be. It was when we were kids.”
“Was he older than you?”
“A year younger.”
“What was it?”
“A canoe turned over with us.”
“How old were you?”
“About twelve.”
“Don’t talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“I’m not sure it did me a lot of good,” Roger said. “Didn’t you know about it really?”
“Never.”
“For a long time I thought everybody in the world knew about it. It’s strange when you are a boy. The water was too cold and he let go. But what it added up to was that I came back and he didn’t.”
“Poor bloody Roger.”
“No,” said Roger. “But it was early to learn about that stuff. And then I loved him very much and I’d always been afraid something would happen to him. The water was cold for me too. But I couldn’t say that.”
“Where was it?”
“Up in Maine. I don’t think my father ever forgave me although he tried to understand it. I’ve wished it was me every day since. But that’s hardly a career.”
“What was your brother’s name?”
“Dave.”
“Hell. Was that why you wouldn’t go goggle-fishing today?”
“I guess so. But I’m going every other day. You never work those things out, though.”
“You’re grown up enough not to talk that way.”
“I tried to go down after him. But I couldn’t find him,” Roger said. “It was too deep and it was really cold.”
“David Davis,” Thomas Hudson said.
“Yes. In our family the first one is called Roger and the second one David.”
“Roge, you did get over it, though.”
“No,” Roger said. “You never get over it and sooner or later I have to tell it. I’m ashamed of that the way I’m ashamed of the fight on the dock.”
“You had nothing to be ashamed of there.”
“Yes, I did. I told you once. Let’s not go into that.”
“All right.”
“I’m not going to have any more fights. Ever. You never fight and you can fight as well as I can.”
“I can’t fight as well as you. But I just made up my mind I wouldn’t fight.”
“I’m not going to fight and I’m going to be some good and quit writing junk.”
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard you say,” Thomas Hudson said.
“Do you think I could write something that would be worth a damn?”
“You could try. What did you quit painting for?”
(...)(......)
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